The teacher is ALWAYS complaining that my child is having trouble focusing in class. My child is constantly in motion and won’t sit still. How can I help him/her?

Since my son is very fidgety and unfocused, I have had experience with this question both as a parent and as a School Counselor. My first step would be to tell the teacher that you would like to have an Official I&RS (Intervention and Referral Service) meeting where you could discuss what they are seeing, how frequent/when it is happening and (VERY IMPORTANT) what THEY are doing to help. Things like:

• Preferential Seating Next To The Teacher (away from windows/doors) could easily be modified by the teacher if they are noticing that a student is unfocused.
• Peer Buddy’s could be assigned so that your “unfocused” student can ask one of their friends for help when they are not sure of the correct procedure or directions.
• An Audio System should be used by the teacher in the room. Many times if a child is sat in the back of the room and can not hear the teacher – they are disinterested and wiggle! Ask the school if they can place your child in a classroom that is set up to amplify the teachers’ voice.
• Timers could be set up on your childs’ desk to remind and refocus.
• List of tasks can be taped to the childs’ desk to remind and refocus on all the tasks that need to get done. The child can actually check those tasks off as they complete them.
• Sensory Type/Occupational Therapy Equipment can be tried out to see to see if it helps when used with focus. I have used the following with my son:
  • Sensory Seat (helps with the wiggles)
  • If your school will do it, they may be willing to buy a Sensory Ball Seat!
  • Therabands can be placed on the bottom of the childs’ seat so that they can kick and get their wiggles out.
  • A weighted vest or weighed lap pad may help.
  • If your son is like mine, your child needs something in their hands at all time to feel/squeeze/play with/etc. If so, I got this for my son so that he could try out many and see which helped him best. I use therapuddy and TANGLE hand fidgets with my son and kids in my school.
  • If your student likes to put things in his/her mouth, chewlery might really help give them that comfort and safety.
    • At my school I order chewlery bracelets and necklaces for the kids and it really works well. Here are some I have used: Necklaces and Bracelets
    • The upper grades allow the children to chew gum, which seems to really help with focus.
• The teacher can modify the work. Maybe your student doesn’t have to read all the pages, or do every math problem. Maybe they do 5, while the rest of the class does 10. This allows the student to build confidence without getting frustrated.
• Finally, movement brakes need to be allowed throughout the day. Maybe the child could go for a walk – on an errand – delivering something to the office/etc. Maybe, the child is allowed to get up and go to a sensory/break station in the classroom to take a break a couple of times a day to color/squeeze a ball or play with play dough. (see photos of a kit) The teacher should make sure a timer is set.

At the meeting, I would ask that they start a daily chart based on one thing that they would like him/her to work on that week. For example: Stay in Seat. The teacher should just focus on grading him on that chart for that behavior that week. (The chart attached below is a good one to use at the lower elementary schools.) Once that is achieved and corrected, the teacher can focus on a new task for the child to work on. The parent would get the daily chart, sign it and return it to the teacher (sending notes back and forth daily).

I always suggest that the parents set up a motivating reward system that the child could get if he works hard at school. It doesn’t have to cost money – it could just be a movie night with mom and dad, or ice cream night, or a toy from five and below. Whatever the goal is, it has to be motivating for the child and achievable. They have to feel like they can achieve it if they work hard so, at first, the reward should be after one or two days (depending on the case) and then it should be extended to three or four days and so on until the child does it with ease every day.

If at the meeting, the teachers say that they have tried everything and the behavior is still very distracting to the child and others, ask if the school has a behaviorist on staff that can come in and evaluate. If they do, it may be possible to have a behavior plan set up for your child.

Obviously, when a teacher is saying this to a parent, they are incinuating possible ADHD. Until the behavior affects the academics, I wouldn’t advise considering placing your child on pharmaceuticals. Although controversial, I have used the following “holistic” methods on my son:

• We live by SmartyPants Multivitamins and they are gummy, for my gag-aholic non-pill son!
• Even though SmartyPants has Fish Oil, we give him an additional Fish Oil supplement. (gummy) or get Ginko Biloba gummy vitamins that have Omega 3’s for better brain function.
• Vitamin D Supplement (gummy as well)
• Finally, we give our son Vitamin C daily (sometimes two a day) just to stay healthy.

I am a vitamin believer and when he doesn’t have the regiment above – he is a different kid!

We have also tried rubbing oil’s on him before school. It is said that sometimes a scent will stimulate the brain. These oils have properties that many say are soothing, quieting and calming, and that reduce anxiety. They include:

• Focus Oil
• Roman chamomile
• Lavender
• Ylang-ylang
• Vetiver

This year, we tried giving our son a ReVibe Watch. It was a HUGE hit with my son and seemed very effective. It vibrates quietly to remind and refocus children.

If all fails and you notice that your childs’ behavior is starting to affect their academics or they are taking risks that are concerning, talk with your Pediatrician. They will give you a scale to fill out and give one to your teacher to fill out (usually a Vanderbilt Scale.) Based on the results of the parent, the teacher and the Pediatrician’s scales, they could diagnose and treat with medication to help focus and get rid of the fidget.

Helpful Websites:

• https://childmind.org/article/behavioral-treatments-kids-adhd/
• https://www.aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Resource_Centers/ADHD_Resource_Center/Home.aspx
• https://add.org
• https://chadd.org
• https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml

Books for Parents About ADHD

•  Your Adolescent offer easy-to-understand and comprehensive information on the emotional development and behavior of children from infancy through the teen years.
• A Bird’s-Eye View of Life with ADD and ADHD: Advice from Young Survivors
• ADHD and Me: Forty Years in a Fog